“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.” Rabindranath Tagore
For most of us we’ve been brought up in a generation and society that you must give, give, give to everyone and leave little for yourself. Put everyones needs before your own and the less boundaries you had the more generous and caring you were. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for giving. It’s one of the best feelings you could experience as a person and I’m not about giving in expectation of something in return. I do however, acknowledge that there is an imbalance to the exchange. It was unlikely that you were taught to RECEIVE growing up. Maybe you were taught to say a shy thank you after a compliment but do you remember witnessing when you were a child many compliments were received with rejection?
“Thanks for the beautiful dinner you made.” was met with something like “Oh no it was nothing.” or “the chicken was a bit overcooked.”
“You look nice.” was met with “Oh this old thing? I’ve had this skirt for years”.
I mean look they were very generic and surface examples but the point is, we weren’t taught how to really RECEIVE whether that’s compliments, surprises or (actually ESPECIALLY) help.
Receiving help can be one of the hardest thing a person’s ego could face. The ego feels weak for needing it. Embarrassed that they think we’re incapable. Stressed because we don’t want to be a burden. Asking and accepting help can activate a string of fear based responses and beliefs. So we don’t do it. It’s not like that with everyone. Maybe you’re more comfortable to accept from your partner, parents, your kids, besties or particular people but there’s conditions with the majority of people in your life. The more we put conditions on ourselves, the harder it is for the energy of receiving to find it’s way back to you. The conditions will have your subconscious questioning what are we allowed to receive and what are we not? What’s going to spark an abundant/prosperity/gratitude response and what’s going to ignite fear and lack for needing it?
So I love to bare it all back and dive into the energetics. If we depersonalise the experience and see it as the law of energy, there’s always an equal balance of giving and receiving. Energy is always finding balance. If you are giving, giving, giving but then completely block the last process of the cycle which is receiving then there’s not only a backlog of what you’ve given waiting for you to receive, it also means you are depleting yourself into deficit.
The beauty of energy is it’s always there, so get excited in knowing that what you’ve given hasn’t be wasted, all you got to do is work out what’s in the way of you truly, genuinely receiving it. I can pretty much confirm there’s an interference in the way you see your worth.
Circulating subconscious fears are:
‘I don’t feel worthy enough to receive too much help.”
“ I don’t want to be a burden.”
“I never will allow myself to feel vulnerable.”
“What if they judge me?”
“I want to give so they need me and not abandoned me.”
“Nothing could be more painful than not being perfect.”
“I should know how to do this all on my own, because I can only rely on myself.”
Many of us can relate to many of the above.
The solution? The saying Yes Concept.
Say yes when you mean yes. Do you need anything? “Yes I do thank you.” then proceed to say what you need without fear of judgement. If that sparks up vulnerability. Feel it. Then proceed to say “I appreciate this/you.” Simple, genuine. That’s all we need in life. It doesn’t need to be a whole performance just allow yourself to receive and know that you’re worthy too.
If this is too debilitating to think of doing then there’s some significant lack based beliefs you’ve got running the show that you’re calling reality. And we only know what we know. So when we know what’s in your subconscious that’s controlling how you behave and what you allow in your life we can turn that pain into empowerment. You will see that receiving is necessary. It’s not selfish. It’s not inferior. It’s not needy. It’s required to ease the balance of energy that has us over giving and burning out.
Side note, if you are resentful for giving and have thoughts like “they always take, take, take.” it’s a sign that your receptivity is constricted and you’re not allowing the return of what you’ve given. Remember energy is everywhere. So what you give out energetically is what you receive back energetically. It may look different in matter form meaning if you help someone with their bags won’t necessarily mean someone will help you with yours, but the energy behind your helping with be reciprocated.
Take yourself back into surplus and to do that you have to allow yourself to receive. Help, support, compliments, presence, conversation, joy, humour. Just receive. There is so much out there for us to replenish and feel in absolute abundance with and it starts by saying yes.
So, if there’s anything to take away from this it’s what you’ve given out is READY for you to receive. It’s in the backlog of energetics and when you shift the kink in your give/take hose you will feel the streamline of flow. Know you are worthy of that.
There’s a generosity in giving, but gentleness in receiving.