Our bodies are so clever. They draw on coping mechanisms to deal with situations the body deems as too stressful. My all time fave – suppression.
I did (heck there’s probably still parts of my world now I still do) default to suppressing my feelings or being able to express my truth anytime I was stressed out. Classic example was being a people pleaser. I wanted to avoid the chance of any confrontation because in the past I had experienced that even a slight difference in opinions result in full blown arguments! So not fun and of course is so stressful on the nervous system as it activates the survival mode in us to be ready to defend ourselves in these confrontations like they’re a serious threat. So to avoid that all together I became so good at getting to know people first, working out common denominators on how we could get along and shaping my opinions to agree or just not speaking of them at all.
I believe there’s a gift in character we develop from the coping mechanisms we use. In this case I truly believe I have a passion for getting to know people on a deeper level, however what I have learned through Kinesiology is it is vital to know yourself on that deeper level too, if you are going to genuinely connect with someone in that space. Turns out I didn’t know myself well at all. I didn’t know what my needs were or even give them time to exist. Turns out also I found it so uncomfortable to be able to voice my insights without it being emotionally charged or just all round clunky to express. I have always been in awe of people who articulate their thoughts so freely and graciously. I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!
Kinesiology helps find the stimulus that gets the brain reacting and switching into survival mode. It helped me to dig deeper below my reactions to the source of the charge and bring it conscious understanding. On a really simplistic level this is how it panned out:
growing up I was taught if you express yourself it ends in confrontation.
to cope I developed a nack for people pleasing.
how it affected me was I could never share my feelings or my true self without fear.
my nervous system would always be on the radar looking for potential threats with new people or new situations so my adrenals would be pumping stress hormones constantly.
too many stress hormones affected the way my digestive system works and it inefficiently digested food and caused daily bloating. Also affected how I slept and generally lived my day.
emotionally I was calculated and unable to be me.
Now after addressing the stimulus I have:
edited my understanding that sharing our thoughts and feelings do not results in confrontations.
it can always be from a place of love.
when I know my intent behind my words and actions are genuine my nervous system is so much more chill.
I attract great people in my life, and I get to see everyone with compassion when they are in a state of anger/fear.
life is so much more peaceful and I have a great appreciation for everyone coming into my life and showing me something new, instead of worrying we are all not exactly the same.
the more I accepted me for me, the more people accepted me for me.
It is always fascinating what the body wants to let go of and when given the chance life no joke is alot more easier. FULL STOP! x
So what are you ready to release?